For those that don’t know, NICU stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. This is a true story. It is heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time . My great-niece was born very premature. My niece was 7 months pregnant, and was married to an alcoholic. He insisted that she continue to work, even though she was swollen all over. I had talked to her late one evening, and discovered during the conversation that she probably had preeclampsia. Her entire body was extremely swollen. Her husband insisted she had to work the next morning, no matter what. I begged her to go to the hospital, but her husband refused to take her. This was her first pregnancy, so she was not sure what problems she could have. I knew she was in dire straights, but she was too afraid to dispute her husband. Unfortunately, I lived in California and she lived in Texas, so I could not drive over there and take her myself. I pleaded with her, but I could not move the needle.
The next morning, her husband drove her to work. As soon as she walked in the door, her female boss took one look at her, and called an ambulance! She knew my niece was in serious trouble, just as I had tried to convey to my niece. As soon as she was put in the ambulance, she went into labor. She started having severe breathing problems and vomiting. She went into shock and was rushed into surgery as soon as she arrived at the hospital. The baby was born 10 minutes later by C-section and only weighed one lb. 12 ounces.
Both mom and baby were in critical condition. My niece was very ill and was put in a coma for 5 days due to all the complications that could arise from preeclampsia. (See attached article) The baby was in the NICU, and not expected to survive. Both were fighting for their lives. I was devastated. I wanted to be with them, but I was in the process of preparing for major spinal surgery, so it was impossible for me to go. I don’t know when I have cried so much. I was scared to death my niece would die, and I had no hope for the baby.
Somehow, by the miracle of God, my niece was brought out of the coma and did not suffer a heart attack or stroke, or any other serious health issues. She had an emergency C-section, and did have some complications with that. She also had some bowel issues and a couple others, but they were all fixable and survivable . She was extremely weak and could barely walk. She desperately wanted to get to the NICU to see her baby, as she also feared her baby girl would not survive. She literally dragged herself along the support bar to get there. Her husband never showed up during that 5 day ordeal. She found out later that he spent the entire time drunk. Her mother managed to get there to help her.
That second week was nerve-wracking, extremely stressful and very scary. My niece was recovering very slowly. The baby was in severe distress. She was on several monitors and had tubes all over her. She was so tiny, she fit in my nieces hand. Can you even imagine that? Her skin was transparent. You could see everything underneath it. She barely moved and never cried. However, she quit breathing constantly and the monitors were going off in rapid fire. On day 7, she had to have a full body blood transfusion. There was something wrong with her blood. My niece cried her eyes out, fearing the worst. There was a high probability she would not survive the transfusion. But, by golly, by the grace of God, she once again survived against all odds.
The next two weeks were critical for both mom and baby. My nieces faith was tested beyond belief, as was mine. Everyday, there were more problems and more bad news. At one point, the doctors told my niece that the baby did not have a brain stem or a brain because her head was so tiny. You cannot even imagine the horrendous shock of hearing that. However, they did a scan and discovered she did have a brain, albeit small. They warned that she might be mentally challenged, if she survived. Then they told her she had no eyes. Again, we were thrown for a loop, contemplating what kind of life she would have with no eyes. Several weeks later, they discovered she had eyes. They took that tiny baby and injected needles into her eyes. We never did understand why. My niece was hysterical during that procedure. The doctors convinced her it was necessary.
We were grateful for everyday that precious baby survived. My niece was getting stronger and slowly recovering. All the while, her husband was either drunk or absent from helping care for the baby or her. Once my niece was able to drag herself to the NICU, she would go 5 or 6 times a day. The nurses wanted her to try and breastfeed, and if that failed, to express milk, and they stressed the importance of skin-to-skin contact, especially for the baby. The baby was just too tiny to take a nipple, so my niece expressed milk and that was given to her in a tiny bottle that looked like a doll bottle! The babys body was having a terrible time regulating heat, so it was important for her to be on her mother’s chest as much as possible. The baby could not leave the NICU because of all the wires and monitors, so my niece had to go to her. She also had to remain in a heated incubator at all times unless she was on her mother’s chest. It was so important for my niece to see her daughter as much as possible. Everyday was a struggle and a test of strength for both of them. And her husband was totally useless and really more of a burden; one she did not need but was also stuck with. I marvelled how my niece handled all of this. I did not think it was humanly possible. I was extremely proud of her and encouraged her everyday.
I talked to my niece everyday, offering support and as much love as I could muster. We both prayed daily for that tiny, precious baby girl. As she would gain movement forward, something always caused a set-back. It was heart-breaking. In situations like this, we do not know what the best solution is. We discussed all the possibilities and the repercussions of each. We wanted her to survive, but we were so heartbroken of the burdens she would carry from the beginning. Here she was struggling daily, but she had the support of the entire NICU and doctors, doing everything they could to help her. Was it better to let her die? What would happen if she made it home? What kind of life would she have? And my niece questioned whether she would have the strength and ability to take care of her. After weeks of fear, confusion and heartbreak, we both decided we would have to turn it all over to God. We picked a time, and we both knelt in prayer, at the same time, asking for God’s guidance.
My niece was released from the hospital after almost a month. The nurses insisted that she come to the hospital at least 4 times a day to nurse and have skin to skin contact with the baby. However, my niece lived 40 minutes from the hospital. She had to depend on her husband to drive her. Also, she was not working, he was barely working and they were flat broke. She tried going 4 times a day for a week. It almost killed her! She was exhausted, she and her husband fought constantly over gas money, and this schedule was unsustainable. I even sent money, but, you guessed it, her wonderful hubbie spent it on alcohol!
Luckily, someone told her about Ronald McDonald House. I also had mentioned it It turned out, there was one a couple of blocks from the hospital. My niece was so excited! She went there to apply, and found out they were full; another disappointment. I had no idea how she had any tears left from everything she had gone through. My heart was completely broken for her. I felt helpless. I could do nothing to ease her burden or her pain. But — I told her not to give up and pester them every single day. So she did! Low and behold, they called her 3 days later and told her they had managed to find her a room! We were over the moon.
Getting a room at Ronald McDonald House meant she could walk to the hospital and not depend on her undependable husband! It also meant she did not have to fight over money. It also meant some meals were provided so she could eat consistently and keep her milk supply up. God answered our prayers!! This was an incredible blessing! She moved into the Ronald McDonald House, even though she was still weak and recovering. She knew she had an incredibly long road ahead of her. We still did not know if our little angel was going to make it. That baby had endured so much, including a total of 6 blood transfusions. It was hard for us to comprehend how such a tiny, fragile preemie could indure everything that had happened to her. And all the intrusions on her tiny body were far from over. On top of everything else, the nurses withdrew blood from her foot several times a day. She finally reached a stage where she could let out a cry. Of course, crying is good for lung development, so everyone rallied whenever she cried. There are no guarantees when dealing with such a tiny, premature baby. No one would assure us she was going to survive. I have to tell you, though, that baby was a fighter! No matter what they did to her, she continued to defy the odds. We also prayed every single day for that baby. We both truly believe God had his hand on her pulse. We also were now committed to doing whatever necessary to help her beat the odds. I bought preemie clothes and sent them to my niece. My niece was getting stronger with consistent meals and rest. She was able to relax a little once she was close to the hospital. And those 4 trips a day to the hospital were helping our little angel also gain strength and weight. The two of them finally had nursing down to a science. It was still pretty difficult for the little one to nurse, but she had finally developed an appetite and was very eager to try anything to get to the milk! I was truly amazed that my niece was able to nurse after such a horrific start for them both.
After surviving those first few weeks, they both kind of settled into a routine after 6 weeks. There were blood draws, a couple blood transfusions, and a few alarms going off constantly. The baby was still struggling to breathe, especially when she tried to sleep. But the nurses had also gotten used to the alarms and knew exactly what to do. Everyone was working in tandem to try and help our little angel thrive. She was gaining weight, although very, very slowly. By the 6 week mark, she had only gained a few ounces. The doctors said any progress was good progress! So we continued to pray, and my niece did everything in her power to show up day in and day out, no matter how grueling. I could not physically help her, but I gave her encouragement and moral support every single day! We were a team, and that baby was going to survive, come HELL or HIGH water.
Over the next 12 weeks, the days merged together. The routine was similar almost every day. That baby girl was slowly growing, developing and gaining weight and strength. Around the 3 months mark, we did receive some very disturbing news that turned our world upside down. In a consultation, the doctors told my niece that her baby most likely would be blind and possibly deaf. They also said she would be mentally challenged, could be stunted in growth and most possibly would have Turrets Syndrome. Her alcoholic father had it, and genetically, it was most likely she would too. We were devastated, but if it happened, there was nothing, at this point, that could change the outcome. It would be what it would be. However, we still held one card —- the God card. Once again, we started praying.
Life continued, day in and day out. Premature babies are kept in the NICU, if they survive, until they reach 5 lbs. It was still a constant struggle, and she was still connected to beeping monitors because of her breathing. Her lungs were developing very slowly, but other than that, she seemed to be thriving. She was kicking and squirming. She had a voracious appetite, to everyone’s surprise. She was crying and cooing and responding to everything around her.
She was heading toward 5 lbs., so her release was scheduled. She had been in the NICU for 4 1/2 months. My niece was informed that she would need a car seat installed in the car, and the hospital would check before allowing the baby to leave. My niece was flat broke, and she was hysterical because she had been working toward this for months. I told her not to worry, and I wired her money that same day , thinking everything would be fine. She called me the next day, hysterical, because her shit husband had stolen the money and bought alcohol. I could not believe I had fallen for this again. But I was not going to let my niece or that baby suffer because of him. I scraped together another wad of cash. This time, I sent it to her sister, hoping and praying she would get the car seat. She came through for us. She went to Walmart, got the car seat, and delivered it to the hospital.
When the day finally arrived for the babys release, every nurse in the NICU was in tears. They had all witnessed a miracle over those 4 1/2 months. They all knew my niece’s road ahead was still very bumpy, but they were elated for her. However, their hearts were heavy because they had all grown to love my niece and her baby girl!
Her husband actually showed up for the baby’s release! A nurse carried out the car seat and installed it and another nurse gently strapped in that precious little miracle. Then the car was loaded with machines and beepers that would monitor the baby at home 24/7. Her lungs were still not fully developed, but the doctors felt she might do better at home. The baby was born in August, and finally went home in December. My niece felt confident that she could handle all the complications.
The house was absolutely freezing as they could not afford to heat it. So they closed up their bedroom, bought an electric heater, brought the crib in there and everything they would need, set up all the monitors and proceeded to spend the next 3 months in that room. There was a connected bathroom. They only had to go out to fix food in the kitchen. The baby never left that room. They had two cats that they tried keeping in the bedroom. However, that did not work out, as the cats consistently tried to climb in the crib, and they had to get rid of the cats.
Mom and baby had only been home for a couple of weeks when her husband decided they were moving to Georgia! There was NO WAY that baby would survive that trip in their old car. Also, the monitors had continued to go off constantly, causing sleep deprivation for both of them. In the car, there would be no monitors. I was scared to death, and my niece was too scared to defy him. So I did the only thing I could do. I told him I would call the police on him for endangering his daughter. After everything my niece had gone through, I was not going to let him kill that baby with his stupidity!
Luckily, my threat worked. He changed his mind and they stayed put!! Winter turned into Spring. The baby had continued to grow and gain weight, but very slowly. She had started responding to voices, noise and touch. So we knew that she was not deaf! Hallelujah! Her hearing seemed to be normal. During those next couple of months, she started making eye contact when spoken to. She was looking all around and seemed to be observing things. OMG! She could see! We just weren’t sure what her vision would be like. But for now, she was progressing positively. With all of the progress, she had fallen way behind in the weight category. She was still very tiny for her birth age. She was now 8 months old, and only weighed about 9 lbs. She was barely the size of a large newborn. She had finally graduated to 3 months size clothes. I had already bought 6 months hoping she would grow into them very soon. Luckily, during this whole time, my niece was able to breastfeed her. She still could not eat anything else, even baby food, because her airway was too small. Her lungs were still not fully developed, and the concern became if they would ever develop. But putting aside her lungs and her small weight, she was developing normally.
The doctors and nurses were astonished that she was alive, and growing, even though very slowly. The goal was to get her to her 1st birthday. If she could reach that milestone, they felt like she would mostly be out of the woods. There was still great concern about her lung issues, but based on everything that could have gone wrong, everyone, including all of us, were very grateful.
Our angel reached her first birthday!!! We were over the moon. Her future looked much brighter. There was no big party or fanfare. Just all of us grateful for this milestone. We all could breathe a little easier. She was finally off all the monitors. She was breathing on her own, and her lungs were FINALLY fully developed! It has been a really, really l-o-n-g year. But with all the successes, she was still very tiny. At 1 year old, she looked more like a 6 month old. Even though she had almost doubled her weight from 8 months, she was tiny. We were advised that she was normal and that all proportions of her body were within range for being a preemie. The doctors said it could take 5 years for her to catch up to the size of a 6 year old. We still prayed everyday for that baby. Her hearing seemed normal and she could finally eat some solids and other foods to help nourish her body. All of her internal organs seemed to be functioning within the normal range. You have no idea how excited, relieved and thankful we all were at this point. We still did not know about her vision or her mental capacity. or the tourettes. All three of these could greatly impact her life. Stay tuned for Part 2.